“I still think you’re a looneytoon!”

Context: No doubt you’ve heard that using your prospects name nudges up responses? (nudge marketing 101) – In this email, sent to around 8000 ‘cold’ B2b Small business owners for our own marketing, I was feeling a little playful. Using standard mail merge, I challenged myself to say the persons name as much as possible in a single email.

So, a script style dialogue seemed appropriate. The email recipients became the ‘other’ person in a phone call.

Using humour in an email can be tricky. The response though, as you can see from the feedback, was overall positive. There were a couple of negative responses. Both came up because within the database their first name was missing, making the whole thing meaningless. Here’s the work, to a prospect names Chris:

“Fair play, this is the best/funniest/ most original cold email I have received!”


Justin at Presel.biz



Chris at Denniston Consulting

SUBJECT: [NAME], This never even happened…

Chris, this is a completely made up telephone conversation. Seriously, the damn thing never even happened”….

Brr…Brrrrrr. Brr…Brrrrrrr

Chris: “Hello?”……

Jamie: Chris, Listen. I’m seriously unhappy with your website.

Chris: huh?… my what?… Who the heck are you? …Have you even seen my website?

Jamie: Nope, but then again, I haven’t seen your sales emails, sales letters or adverts, and I’m not too happy with them either.

Chris: Huh! what the *$%k are you talking about, you bat crazy looneytoon?….

Jamie: Your ‘sales funnel’ Chris. The advert, email and webpage you use to lead your prospects through your sales process. Are you happy with it… is it making or losing you business?

Chris: Seriously?… Of course!…ummm…well…I dunno. I think so, errrr, How do I know?

Jamie: mmmmmmmm, you don’t Chris,. But I do.

Chris: How?

Jamie: Because with 22 years of writing emails that get read opened and responded to, I don’t care what you sell, B2b, B2c, services or products, your marketing campaigns can really only be broken in three places.

To you, it simply means that If you use adverts emails or webpages to market your business and results are lacking, I can tell you exactly what’s going wrong. Fix that and you will fix your lead generation.

Chris: Oh I get it, you’ll fix them for shed load of cash up front, right?

Jamie: Nope. it’s FREE.

Chris: You’ll fix my marketing and it’s won’t cost a billy bean…what’s the catch?

Jamie: The catch is, I’ll review one of them.

Chris: One?

Jamie: Yup. Together and at no cost, we’ll find out where your big problem is. Maybe your advert, email or web page. I’m a sales communications writer and Founder of the communications agency Nudge.. I’ll review it and tell you how to fix it. But if the others need fixing, you hire me to get your marketing back in track and make it completely hands free and automated. Deal?

Chris: Oh, so this is a sales pitch?

Jamie: Yup, totally.

Chris: What do I need to do?

Jamie: Click here, register, I’ll send an email with the details of my free offer.

Chris: Ok, I’m interested, especially in the free stuff, but I still think you’re a looneytoon.

Jamie: you haven’t upgraded your marketing in like, a bazzilion years and I’m the looneytoon?

Chris; Smart Ass.

[link]Go here anyway. Register. Let’s Get this thing done. There’s no cost. Let’s fix your marketing. [link to sales page]